Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
