please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
organizing the empties. That sober.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
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it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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