I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize