mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
