We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
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Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
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I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.