i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
