garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
