I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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