i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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