Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
