I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
