Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i think i scared a bird with my dick
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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