38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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