Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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