Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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