you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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