the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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