So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
