he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
