Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found puke in my bra..
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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