I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
