theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I need to calm my uterus...
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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