windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
