Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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