It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
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