Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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