I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
