I am puke
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
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you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
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You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen