At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?