erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
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After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
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Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?