Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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