my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Randomize
