can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
