ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
A+ Viking dick
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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