y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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