i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i was born a porn star she said
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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