Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
