forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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