sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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