Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
