Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
