My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize