just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
