so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
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He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
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T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch