If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
