Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Randomize
