yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
