I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
