If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
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There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
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Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.