a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.