I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.