Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
