would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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