pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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