honey bunches of taint.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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