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we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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