i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
