8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
