yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
