I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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